Anyone that knows me knows that I have a love hate relationship with Ohio. Almost my entire family lives here and almost all of the friends that have meant something to me have moved away. The ones that have are getting their PhD's and I'm sitting here like, "Yup. Got that Bachelor's in Art and am still working the minimum wage fast food job I've had since I was 18."
I almost wished that I was going to graduate school so I had an excuse to get out. This is when the hate settles in. I hate the fact that I've done everything right but it still feels like nothing is going right. They always tell you, "Don't do drugs!" I listened. "Don't drink." I listened. "Be kind to others and treat them how you want to be treated." I listened. "Get an education." Once again, I listened. I have done everything right. Now of course not doing drugs and always doing what I was told has kept me out of trouble and I (like to think that) am a decent person. But is that all it has given me? I have a college degree and I am proud of that, but it has gotten me nowhere. There are no jobs in Ohio. The places out of state don't want to hire me because I live so far away and they don't want to cover moving costs, and/or, I don't have enough experience for the job. Most people in NW Ohio either farm, work in factories, or have a minimum wage job...and if anyone hears that you're a photographer their first response is, "Oh! That's cool! So you shoot weddings and stuff?" That is not why I chose to go to college and be thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt. I want to change the world. I want to be somebody everyone remembers. Be in museum and galleries around the world. I feel like I'm wasting away my youth being unhappy.
Stuck at a dead end job that I hate and in an area I hate even
more.
My friends try to understand but they don't. Today one of them told me, "Yeah I get on Facebook and I see your posts about getting another rejection. I feel bad...like, I even feel sad for you." It absolutely killed me. I don't want to be the one people pity or the one who gets made fun of for still living at her parents house at the age of 24. Nor do I deserve some of the things said to me at my place of employment. BUT if I delve into that mess I will be "talked to" or get fired...which at this point may be a blessing!
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